The Predator (Wakka Wakka)

We’re Back On The Preds!

Sorry, I thought opening up with a terrible pun would be fitting for this movie. Pun aside, we’re back to see our favorite clicking, crab-mouthed killers doing what they’re known for; getting involved with a zany crew of likable goofballs! Oh wait, I guess that’s not what they’re known for at all… Confused? As was I.

So, I’ll break it down for you, let’s talk The Predator.

The Laughable Story

Image result for the predator
I Honestly Believe Sterling Did Not Take A Single Scene Seriously.

Right off the back, the movie gets you in that good ol’ Predator mood, showcasing a bunch of military guys rolling up on the wrong spaceship. Obviously, everyone gets killed except for “Manly Man”, played by Boyd Holbrook. He makes it out alive but is then intercepted by a heartless secret government division who are aware of the existence of Predators. Because Manly Man is handsome and a badass, he can’t be smart as well, thus due to poor decision making, he gets his family involved. Now he must gather a group of unlikely heroes to help save his family!

“-Should I be worried?

– … Probably!”

The Career Suicide Squad

I’ll Say It, They Kinda Grew On Me.

The best part about the movie is the characters. When we’re first introduced to the crew, I thought they would become annoying but by the end of that scene, I was invested in these guys. To be fair, there were some who were treading the line, mainly one of the guys suffering from Tourettes. I don’t know why Hollywood can only use this situation to have the person scream curses and dirty words but it’s all cringe and dated.

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I Think He’s Supposed To Be This Universe’s Jesus

And that’s the magic word of the day for this movie, cringe. Nearly all the lines, nearly all the plot points, and nearly every single “cool” line are absolutely cringy. Olivia Munn was thrown into the movie so abruptly that I thought I missed a scene. The plot device known as “Manly Man’s son”, who is basically a child Rain Man – let’s call him Rain Boy. So Rain Boy does all kind of genius magic feats, and yet we’re asked to buy it. I’m a sucker for characters but there are too many situations where the dialogue throws me out the of the movie. Sterling K. Brown kills it as an evil jerk but you don’t buy anything else the movie tells you about him. On the good side, Trevante Rhodes seems to be the only one taking his wacky role seriously, I enjoyed him the most.

Get To The Rating!

This movie is the epitome of a turn-your-brain-off flick. It asks you to not think, in fact, it punishes you for trying to think. There are some good laughs, a few good moments with the characters, but the myriad of poor pacing, writing, and overall handling of the property forces me to not recommend seeing it theaters. If you enjoyed the Transformers movies -bless your soul – then you will love the less dumb but gorier version of that.

How about you readers? Whether you agree or disagree, let me hear thoughts below?

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